timeasmymeasure: amerie looking down and pensive (amerie: pensive)
[personal profile] timeasmymeasure posting in [community profile] anxietysupport
Ever feel like your anxiety has become something like muscle memory? I was thinking about it today when without any particular trigger, I got hit with a strong wave. It's almost like even when I'm doing better, when I've worked out the triggers and are removing myself from situations when I can or working through them when I can't, when it really is okay to be me- it's like I just don't know how to go through a few hours, a day, a week without losing it a bit.

Does that make sense?

Anyone else ever get that thought?

Date: 2011-05-05 10:53 pm (UTC)
majoline: picture of Majoline, mother of Bon Mucho in Loco Roco 2 (Default)
From: [personal profile] majoline
Yes, that's how my anxiety feels sometimes. If something reminds me of a bad episode, I can easily find my self right back in it. I've completely removed myself from all of my past stressors but I still find myself having problems over events very much in the past.

Date: 2011-05-05 10:56 pm (UTC)
erika: (meds: pills (mouth))
From: [personal profile] erika
Yes. Absolutely.

Things that helped for me were meds: specifically anxiolytics like benzodiazepines and actually, beta blockers. Plus abilify.

I was never able to therapeutically stop myself from tensing up like the world was about to end.

Date: 2011-05-06 05:53 pm (UTC)
erika: (meds: happy pills)
From: [personal profile] erika
It's like night and day, seriously. I can't put into words the tremendous feeling of relief that I get every time I take my anti-anxiety meds—not from the meds themselves, but just from knowing that that clawing, gnawing, anxious sensation won't take me over and force my actions a specific direction.

Date: 2011-05-05 11:01 pm (UTC)
leek: (Default)
From: [personal profile] leek
Ugh, "wave" is the perfect description. Before I got my depression kind of under control (I am gluten-intolerant and experienced a MAJOR improvement once I figured that out and adjusted my diet), and even still now, I would be going through a rare, upbeat day, and then it would feel like I was punched by anxiety or sadness. Nothing happened to make me respond that way; it just washed over me. The first time it happened, I was about 5 and on the swing at my grandma's house, so that image always pops into my head. It's my "swing" feeling.

So, yeah. It makes me feel like, even when I've "got it under control," I really don't.

Date: 2011-05-05 11:08 pm (UTC)
staranise: A star anise floating in a cup of mint tea (Default)
From: [personal profile] staranise
I think of my anxiety as being like some big clunky steam-powered engine. I feed psychic energy into it, and it clunks and spins its wheels and spits out ugliness. I can reduce how much it works by not feeding it so much stress or negativity, but it's still there. And sometimes the only way I know to cope with a situation is to use that anxiety. It was through sitting down in therapy (both general talk and CBT) that I learned to start disassembling it.

(I have OCD, so for me my response to anxiety was to start obsessing over repetitive thoughts, or meaningless little rituals and it was the END OF THE WORLD if I didn't do them. Now, when I find myself getting really caught up on details, I have to stop and go, "Okay, what anxiety am I displacing here?")
Edited Date: 2011-05-05 11:11 pm (UTC)

Date: 2011-05-06 12:11 am (UTC)
st_aurafina: A ceramic head marked with phrenology detail  (Brain: Phrenology)
From: [personal profile] st_aurafina
I think of my anxiety as being like some big clunky steam-powered engine. I feed psychic energy into it, and it clunks and spins its wheels and spits out ugliness. I can reduce how much it works by not feeding it so much stress or negativity, but it's still there.

Yes, this! And the brakes are there, but they're slooooooooow, and you're still having the reactions long, long after the event.

Date: 2011-05-05 11:57 pm (UTC)
maevele: (liza)
From: [personal profile] maevele
big piles of yes.

Date: 2011-05-06 12:24 am (UTC)
artisan447: cheering beaver (woohoo)
From: [personal profile] artisan447
Yes, definitely. For me it's often first thing in the morning when I wake up and my brain kicks over from being asleep to being aware. Often before I even *start* thinking about anything that could logically be said to be stressful (I'm pretty sure my logic is broken, though, so that probably doesn't mean anything ;).

[personal profile] erika mentioned beta-blockers and they've helped me too -- this mostly only happens now when I actually am in a stressful period and even then it's kind of damped down. And they have this wonderful side-effect where they've almost (almost!) eliminated my migraines! Yay for double-barrel success! ;)

Date: 2011-05-06 02:10 am (UTC)
originalpuck: Neal Caffrey with a tight smile, text says: There's Good Days & Bad Days (Good Days & Bad Days Neal)
From: [personal profile] originalpuck
Yes, very much. Even when I'm having a great day, and am totally relaxed and doing something fun, all of a sudden I'll be hit with anxiety for no real reason and it can completely ruin the fun time I was having. Blech.

Date: 2011-05-06 12:58 pm (UTC)
From: [personal profile] lilmoka
Yes yes yes and again yes. It's so frustrating! :/

Date: 2011-05-06 01:16 pm (UTC)
brisus: (Food - Eat Me Sandwich)
From: [personal profile] brisus
Yep.
I definitely tend to get attacks from things in my past when I really shouldn't care. Its the past, it no longer matters!

It is pretty frustrating. If my depression goes off, I really have to watch out! ...and I'm OCD with a lot of things, so that doesn't help much either. BLEH.

Date: 2011-05-13 04:20 pm (UTC)
mercredigirl: Buffy Summers holding a rocket launcher (Buffy + rocket launcher)
From: [personal profile] mercredigirl
Yes, for me anxiety is always present, in the background, so much so that I'm used to it and it's a part of my life now, perfectly natural and hardly noticeable until it flares up, whether because of stress, or because my OCD or PTSD or depression or something else was tripped, or stuff.

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