Date: 2011-04-29 01:36 pm (UTC)
lizcommotion: Lily and Chance squished in a cat pile-up on top of a cat tree (buff tabby, black cat with red collar) (Crazy sign)
From: [personal profile] lizcommotion
Okay, this is hard to explain via the internet (and it's so much better when trained professionals explain it). But here goes an explanation of how I deal with a lot of things.

There are a lot of things that I can worry about that are actually pretty shitty that might happen (or are even likely to). That's why the anxiety is so gripping - because I can't prove that it won't happen. There's some form of logic there, even though the average person might go, "That's ridiculous, why are you worried about that?"

I've heard anxiety referred to as a diva. Big attention getting drama-queen. And "she" wants to get your attention any way she can, so she'll put on all these different costumes (read: anxiety narratives about how I'm going to die) to get me to obsess over her. But even though they might happen - they're not real.

Part of this is a bit of the mindfulness meditation-style thinking of: "I know I'm having this anxiety and I'm going to name it as anxiety - 'just' anxiety. And it sucks right now but it will eventually go away."

Because just naming it as anxiety is like, okay, great, but I still feel like shit.

Second coping mechanism: the anxiety is going to make me feel like shit before it goes away. There's sort of an anxiety bell curve where all of this adrenaline and stuff gets released, and then eventually it reaches anxiety climax and other body chemicals I don't know the names of help clear away all the adrenaline to get you out of fight/flight land. Part of my dealing with anxiety is waiting for the anxiety to peak and go away on its own. (Sounds masochistic, huh?)

I've also heard it described that people with anxiety disorders don't have confidence that they can get through anxiety (because it is so terrible). So a lot of time we'll do things to try to mitigate the anxiety that end up avoiding the anxiety peak, and then our bodies' natural responses to decreasing it. Things like: having sex, watching an entire season of Star Trek in one day, self-injuring, drinking/doing drugs, reading wikipedia for hours, overeating, undereating, etc.

The trick (for me, not necessarily for everyone) is to endure the horrible, awful feelings of anxiety until they go away. And to tell myself over and over that it's "just" the anxiety diva, and that it will go away. I might do the occasional thing to calm down (listening to a song, meditating, petting my dog), but mainly I just try to get through it. It's awful - the feeling of the anxiety in my body is the worst, like someone is pouring caffeine into my bloodstream. But it does go away. I've managed to get through a panic attack with no medication (I was very proud).

This technique may not be for everyone, but I will say that I haven't been on anti-anxiety meds for a year and I haven't been depressed since December. I've had bouts of anxiety that really annoy me because I keep thinking "Oh yeah, I'm done with this, I don't need to worry about anxiety anymore" and then it'll bite me in the arse again. But overall I've had less anxiety, and it's been less terrible when it does happen.

Does that make sense at all?
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